just some stuff.

I can do a lot of things, but what am i really good at?  Im not a good writer and i dont pretend to be one. (maybe you wish i was, so my blogs would be better).  My major is engineering, and i do ok in my classes, but im not the best.  I’d like to think of myself as a good friend, but i know plenty of better friends out there.  Even in my relationship with God, im far what i want to be.

Whenever i see inspirational movies or great speakers or talented musicians or phenomenal athletes, i wish i was great at something.  I wish that kind of thing came easy, i mean really, i just want to trade in several of my mediocre abilities and bits knowledge for one exceptional skill or idea.  I just want to be a big deal; someone great.  But life doesn’t just let you do whatever you please. Great things don’t come easy.  

Last night i saw “the social network” for the first time.  It was a great movie and i definitely recommend it if you haven’t seen it.  I could talk about why i liked it, but all i want to point out now is how, like many movies, the protagonist does something amazing.  Mark Zuckerburg is exceptionally talented.  Not only is he a genius programmer, he has the drive and brains to successfully implement the idea of putting the social experience of college on the internet.  With that great idea and some things working in his favor, Mark becomes the youngest billionaire in the world. 

So back to my life, as i watched this movie, i wondered, “why am i not amazing at something?” I had this urge and desire to be exceptional at something, have a revolutionary idea, to be somebody famous and respected.  Perhaps this desire is an inevitable part of human nature that everyone experiences, or perhaps its a little more unique.  

But when i step back realize what matters in life, being great at something so you can become famous and rich isn’t really what matters.  In fact thats not what matters at all.  Being good at something will mean nothing if you’re not happy.  All the brains and genius ideas wont do any good when this life is over.  When i think about people who knew what really does matter, i am reminded of the twelve apostles of Jesus Christ. They weren’t anything special, smart or talented, but they knew what really matters.  And God used them to spread the most life-changing message the world had ever seen: the Gospel.  

So my life might not be anything movie worthy, but I believe that God made me and will use me, just the way i am. 

I like trying new things.  Even when i was a kid, i liked to try new foods, new clothes and new hobbies. I even wished for new parents. (is that bad?)  Today, I still love to try new things.

I like to be different.  Although i always have a desire to fit in and be accepted, i really desire to be a little different than everyone else.  I like to show to display my unique personality in how i look. its part of the reason why i got dreads. Although its not always good, people are so often judged by their appearance. And if people are going to judge me, id rather they know im different.

So, I got my ears pierced. 

Some people like it. Some don’t. Some are indifferent. And some don’t even notice. Normally I’m a people pleaser, but lately when people tell me how they don’t really like my ears piercings, it hasn’t really bothered me.  I’m still confident with who i am and what i look like.  

I’m not sure how long i will keep them, maybe a few weeks or maybe years.  Maybe ill get tired of them or maybe ill really love them.  What i really wonder is what i will think in 30 years when i am reminded of “that time when i got my ears pierced.”

im not good at making decisions.  the more i think about things, the harder i find it to make a decision.  I am definitely easily influenced, and i give in to peer pressure.  and i like to try new things.  getting a tumblr is no different.  

Some of my hipster friends convinced me to get a tumblr this weekend.  so i cant promise how often i will post, or how good it will be.  but im giving it a shot.